Hey guys, I hope you're all well and had a good Sunday. Today I was meant to talk about my Pet Peeves as part of my 31 Day Blogging Challenge but while I was sat here watching Ice Princess something dawned on me. I used to spend my whole life training as a professional Ballet Dancer, never went to friends houses because I was always having classes at the Studio as a kid. Then ended up not really having friends because it was such a competitive environment.
Eventually got myself all the way to the Top of the Semi-Professional World by gaining my BA Hons Degree in Dance (Not to mention the first person in my family to get a Degree!) and Competed in one of the biggest Competitions in the World. The Genee International Ballet Competition, I also was the First person from The Isle of Wight to compete in it! Oh... also performed lots of Shows in a 7 week Tour in China & performed in a Scottish Tour as well 3 Years in a row.
But, after all this I finally felt that I got to the Top and couldn't progress any further even if I spent my life trying to. I guess after staring at myself in the mirror pretty much everyday for 16 Years, always thinking that I'm too fat or not good enough, ugly etc. Also having the constant reminder that with my Family spending literally all their money that they could be using to better their lives, and seeing them un-happy because of me. I just didn't want that anymore...
I wanted to be happy, I wanted everyone around me to be happy. Without the constant reminders that I'm ruining someones life because they don't have money, or hearing all the time how fat they look and that they're not good enough to be a Ballet Dancer. Eventually from trying to be strong, perfect and be happy at the same time I just got sick of everything. Pushed myself to the complete limit that I got diagnosed with Depression & Anxiety, which I then started suffering with panic attacks. I then couldn't get on with day to day things, I spent most of days crying and wishing I didn't exist. Lucky for me I had the Best Boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, he was there for me everyday to try and cheer me up and look after me, listen to me when I was upset. Till this day he still does all this and more... I hope he knows how much I appreciate him, and love him.
Anyway what I'm trying to say on this Post is that even though you have a Dream, something that you wanted to do that you spent most of your life trying to acomplish. Don't feel down or upset if your Dream changes, and ends much quicker than originally planned (Like mine did). Because even though I didn't go all the way with my Dream, I still acomplished it because I got to a point in my life where I felt I succeeded in what I went out to do.
I never felt so happy! For once in my life I actually felt Happy, Perfect and accomplished which then led me to stop my Dream where I was most Happiest and then start a New Dream, a New Beginning. So guys, Follow your Dreams and if you get to a point where you want to change your Dream to something else. Don't at all feel bad about it because there will be a perfect reason for it, and perhaps you will feel happier!
I'm now happy working in a Cafe with Friends, Boyfriend and loads of plans of what I want to do to make my life the Best it can be, I will be changing my Dreams over and over because once I've acomplished them theres no where else to go. Other people don't understand why you change your Dream, they think that "You Gave up" "You ruined everything" etc. but really you changed your Dream because your either at a point in your life where you're Happy or you just want to progress forward with your life when they will be stuck behind doing the same old thing.
Don't feel bad!
Sorry for this long post but I hope some of you can relate to this, and it helps you guys to feel good about yourselves and your decisions. Comment down below if you have experienced anything like this! Hopefully I'm not alone...
See you for Tomorrow's post! I love all you guys for being here and listening to my stories & thoughts... Miss Lizzelly x
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